Collection of some hilarious one-liners, quotes and sayings status updates for Facebook, Twitter and other social networks. Enjoy posting them as your status :)

Computer Status Updates

Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

COFFEE.EXE Missing – Insert Cup and Press Any Key

Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.

2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

The information went data way ——–>

Best file compression around: “DEL *.*” = 100% compression

The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

BREAKFAST.COM Halted…Cereal Port Not Responding

The name is Baud……, James Baud.

BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!

Access denied–nah nah na nah nah! C: Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay…

Why doesn’t DOS ever say “EXCELLENT command or filename?”

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

Backups? We don’ *NEED* no steenking backups.

E Pluribus Modem

… File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)